5. Aggressively push your head onto their cock during a BJ. Do you want us to bite your damn pen!s off? Coz we will. Not everyone is born equal unfortunately, and some of us cannot deep throat for love nor money.

6. Invite a friend to join in. Threesomes can be fun! We know this! But if, say, you were just having s.e.x with your boyfriend and then his best mate showed up, all erect and shiny pen!sed, that wouldn’t be on.

7. Two words: double penetration. Just, no.

8. Not use a condom. So many blokes from adult films just shove their peen in sans johnny. WTF is this about?

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